Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Let's Take Over the World!

*I cross paths with a wide array of characters during my journeys...including one who had all the makings of the world's next great supervillain, and wanted me to join him in his conquest of the planet, as described in his monologue that I copied down afterwards. Fortunately for the world, he came to realize what was more valuable than being a global dictator...*

We can so totally do it!
You’ve got the moxie and the savvy,
I’ve got the brains and the determination
(and thirty satellites circling the earth
armed with city-destroying laser beams
Oh, and that thermos with the air-born virus
That can wipe out half the country in four days…
No, not that thermos. That’s my lunch)
So let’s do it! Start making phone calls,
Start broadcasting videos!
And let’s get some really cool outfits–
I’m thinking something in black and neon green–
And start practicing our evil laugh,
And don’t forget that list of demands
(always should have a list of demands on hand)
I’m ready! I’m pumped! Let’s do this!
Should we split the world by hemisphere,
or by countries alphabetically?
Time to take names and numbers and start kicking some…

…oh, you bought us some chili dogs and cheese fries?
Cool, that’s all I really wanted anyway.

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